I’ve been utterly ‘word empty’ of late, but today all I want to do is talk and write and talk and write. My first baby turned 9 today and I’m so full.
Full of love, awe, wonder and memories so intense that I smile, then cry a little and then smile again.
I remember the day I sat down with my husband and asked him if we could start a family. I wanted a baby and children and a large family so much after losing most of my own. I remember a month later, being pregnant with a baby we called flicker, because initially they told me I had lost him, until one more visit to the doc told me to look at the sweet little flicker that was his precious heartbeat.
I remember a long and easy pregnancy, minus the horrid smells of coffee, and burnt toast that I thought would be the end of me. I remember a lot of frozen yogurt and always craving sushi. I remember worrying about everything yet feeling the most at peace in my life. I remember smiling uncontrollably all the time while anxiously awaiting the day I would meet the first child that would be made by me, in my belly.
Today I celebrate my baby, who now looks more like a fine young gentleman than a child, but who still curls up next to me without any hesitation. I celebrate the bond we have, the enormous soul satiating love I have for him. And I celebrate my awe of my own self for getting him to this fascinating age and time of life where he is becoming a whole person full of his own expectations and plans for this life.
I have started my own business and he is just like me. He wants to lead, change the world and be part of making the world a better place. He recently made himself a name tag that said “founder “. He had started his own company.
I’m so damn proud of him. I’m so grateful he is in my life for without him, my universe would never have opened to show me the many phases of love, fear, desperation, gratitude, excitement, exhaustion, frustration or celebration that it has with knowing him.
Today I celebrate being a human, a mother and being giddy over this glorious child I proudly call my son. 😇
Luckiest mom alive!!